In the UK the father of the bride normally speaks first followed by the groom and then the best man, however, in Scotland and at a Jewish weddings the speeches between the groom and the best man are swapped.

Really and truly it does not matter at the end of the day, except for if you are a traditionalist, then you might want to follow the normal protocol, as follows:

Father of the bride speech

The father of the bride is there to start the wedding speech process which normally takes place at then end of the meal, at the reception of the wedding. However, as part of the role of a good best man the speeches should ideally be introduced by the best man and the best way to attract everybody’s attention is to tap lightly on a glass with a spoon.

It is likely that the original thought behind this tradition is that the father of the bride traditionally paid for the wedding and sometimes still does. It is only fare that he gets the first opportunity to have a say and be first to do so. If however, the other parents or indeed any other family members have contributed to the cost of the wedding it is the father of the bride’s role to thank these people at this point to acknowledge their contribution to the cost of the wedding.

The basis behind his speech is to talk about his daughter and acknowledging that she is going out into the big wide world and that he is handing over care to her new partner. Fathers and daughters are always thought to have very special relationship so to give her up to another man is one of the hardest things for him to do. The father of the bride should also officially welcome the groom into his own family and it might be appropriate at this stage to talk about how he first met the groom, adding any appropriate jokes to keep things light hearted is fine. Of course weddings are all about the bringing together of two families so the father of the bride should welcome the joining of the two families.

For details of what to include in the father of the bride speech click this link

The grooms speech

Traditionally in the UK the best man’s speech comes straighter after the father of the bride’s speech and that of the best man. It is a chance for you to thank everybody, and not least the parents and all the people who have made the wedding day happen. More than likely the bride will have played are large part in the organisation so don’t for get to thank her too.

Also, these days it is by no means uncommon for the bride to speak and in some cases the bride and groom can do a joint speech. If the bride is going to speak there is no tradition as to what she should say, so this is totally up to you as a couple. There is nothing wrong in the both of you doing the thank yous, for example.

An alternative is that if for whatever reason the father of the bride is not present, then the bride might want to speak first in the traditional father of the bride slot. At then end of the day there are no rules, just traditions so it is your wedding so you can decide what happens and in what sequence.

If the bride does not join in with the speech is important to remember that all your words should be as if from both of you. Try starting your speech with “My wife and I” or perhaps “My NEW wife and I” or another alternative is “Mrs X and I” where the X is your wife’s new surname – this is likely to bring some smiles or laughs to set you speech of to a good start.

For details of what to include in the grooms speech click this link

The Best Man Speech

If you are about to be best man at a wedding, I don’t want to put added pressure on you, but you probably realise that of all the speeches at a wedding reception, the best man’s speech is the one that everybody is waiting for.

All speeches at a wedding should be light hearted and good humoured with the odd joke or funny comment to make the guests laugh. However, the best man’s speech has traditionally been the speech to draw the most laughs and is normally there to humiliate the groom. Don’t worry about preparing a professional speech or about being a comedian, as you will find that you will get laughs from even the slightest quip. Remember also that a number of the guests will have been consuming an amount of alcohol and will have just eaten, so they will be relaxed.

Also, by the time you have to make your speech and on the assumption the wedding does not have a master of ceremonies, you will have stood up to introduce the speeches before yours, so you will at this stage be familiar with the audience.

The role of best man has many sides, you are there as the best friend to the groom and although your speech role is to humiliate him you are also there to support the couple on their important day as the head of all the wedding day assistants, like the bridesmaids.

For details of what to include in the best man’s speech click this link

Things to include in your “Best Man’s” speech, as a must and as a bare minimum:

- Firstly you should thank the groom for his speech, and the father of the bride for his.
- It is a good idea to also thank all for attending, even though the groom and father of the bride have already done so.
- Give up a toast for both of the parents of the couple and you need to thank them on behalf of the bride and groom.
- If requested you will need to read out any telegrams, emails or cards that the bride and groom ask you to read out.
- Make a final toast and a quick mention to wish the happy couple all the best for the future.

If you do the above and if you are not used to speaking then this will be fine to finish there. You might not be happy with trying to be funny, as this can fall flat where you try to tell a joke that is either not funny of delivered so that no one laughs. However, if you fancy making your speech a little bit more like the traditional best man speech, then add the following items:

- Explain to room how the bride and groom are as a couple together, how they met and go on to tell any stories you have chosen about them.
- Tell a funny story about your friend and put as much emotion into your story as you can. Emotion in a story will ensure the best laughs and will ensure your audience will enjoy your story and find it funny. When choosing a funny story, test it out on a friend and avoid stories that include ex-girl-friends, as this might make things a little awkward for your friend.
- You might want to add to your speech details of what the groom is like, how you met and what he has achieved.
- Include in your speech about the bride and explain to your audience what she is like and what impact she has made on his life, you might want to make this bit light-hearted and can usually get some laughs here.

Make sure you practice your speech beforehand and a good place to practice is in front of a mirror. It is natural to be nervous and I recommend you have at least one drink beforehand to help relax you, but don’t get drunk before you speak as this will not look good if you are slurring your words.

Keep your speech to within 10 or so minutes and don’t ramble on and on, as you will bore your audience – Good luck to you.

We have all been to that wedding or business event when someone gets up that just loves the sound of their own voice! When this happens the whole room wants to shoot themselves for the boredom.

We want to hear your funny stories of how you managed to endure one of these speeches, where was it and who was it – was it the best man speech or perhaps the father of the bride? You might have even managed to sneek out.

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