If this is you and you have a speak to do or perhaps a presentation to make at work then you might like to consider going to a hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapy taps in to your subconscious and with a few positive suggestions it can help many people to give them the added confidence to make a speech.

An example of a hypnotherapist and this one is based in Bournemouth can be found by clicking here – Dorset Hypnotherapy.

Next to the fear of death – the fear of doing public speaking is top of the list. In fact, more people are more fearful of public speaking than they are of dying, perhaps this is because dying is something that most people cannot really think of happening to them, whereas a speech is must more “REAL”.

It is good to add humour to your speech where you can and if the circumstances are appropriate, but never force it and if you don’t feel up to making jokes then steer clear of trying to become the instant comedian!

Don’t worry about the fact that you will feel nervous just before speaking, as everyone does – even the likes of Elvis Presley did his 1,000 steps before a show to prepare himself and to help calm his nerves! So do whatever it takes to prepare yourself beforehand. Being nervous is natural and is a good thing so use this to your advantage.

Practice your speech beforehand is a good thing and doing so in front of a mirror might help and if you can run through your speech with a loved one so that they can do some “constructive” criticism for you.

Always remember that most people will be feeling for you and will quite understand the feelings you are going through and they will not be expecting a professional speech – so relax and try to enjoy it.

Before you write the announcement you will have to first agree with your partner who to invite in the first place to your special day! Once you have agreed on the list of guests to include at your wedding day you will need to decide on the following for writing your wedding announcement:

- The names of the people you are inviting – If you are inviting couples always include on the invite whether or not children are to be included in your invite. Where the person that is invited is single include on the announcement if they will be able to bring a guest on the day. It is good to check with both parents about the guest list and who should and should not be invited to your wedding day.

- Your details on the announcement – It might sound obvious, but you do need to include details of you and your future husband or wife. I would always suggest you include your full names and you can include within this your parents’ names which is nice for your parents and good for the people receiving the announcement.

- Include the date of your marriage – Probably one of the most important pieces of information to include is the date you intend to get married. If you are sending the announcement out to more people than will be invited on the day (which I would suggest not to do) decide whether to include more specifics, such as the wedding time and location.

- Wedding list – you will need to decide whether you send out a wedding list to the people you are sending the announcement to, as some will want to buy you a gift at this stage.

The groom must make sure that he says all of his thank yous and comments as a couple, especially if his bride does not join him in the speech. During the grooms speech the presents should be given out to all those people who have helped with the organisation of the wedding. Presents should be given to both parents and in particular the mums, a large bunch of flowers always does the trick. Presents should also be given to the bridesmaids, the best man, the page boys and a nice touch is to give the bride a large bunch of flowers too.

The groom’s speech should include the following:

1. I always think that the groom should start his speech with commenting on how beautiful his bride looks and tell the guests how happy he is to have married her.

2. Even though the father of the bride might well have thanked everyone for coming to the wedding, it is good for the groom to thank everyone too. The groom might also want to make mention of those guests who have travelled a long way to attend their special day.

3. The groom should then thank the bride’s parents for the reception and of course if this is a shared cost between both parents then make sure to thank both. The groom should then go on to comment on how good it is to become a part of the bride’s family, and then to return some sort of comment to the father of the bride where he has made comment to the effect that he has passed over the responsibility of looking after his daughter. The groom should say that he will look after his daughter and love her for ever or words to that effect.

4. The groom should thank his own parents for his upbringing and family life.

5. The groom should also thank his best man for his services and it is normal for the couple to buy him a gift and even nicer to have it engraved. The groom might want to get a few words in about the best man at this point, as he is very likely to humiliate him in his speech. Guests will like to see this sort of banter and this will help set the scene well for the best man’s speech.

6. A short story about how the groom met his lovely bride should be told and a thank you to her parents for producing such a lovely daughter will go down well.

7. The groom should close with a toast to the bridesmaids and a nice touch is to thank each of them by name. Traditionally these days it is nice to present the bridesmaids with flowers too.

The father of the bride will traditionally include the following elements:

1. As the first speaker at the wedding reception the father of the bride should welcome the groom’s parents and then the other relatives attending the wedding, followed by friends and the other guests. The father of the bride should also make special mention to those guests that have travelled from afar.

2. The father of the bride should make special thanks to the helpers of the wedding and include in this a special thank you to their wife or partner, as it is very likely that they will have worked very closely with their daughter to arrange the wedding day and reception.

3. The father of the bride’s speech will traditionally include plenty of reference to his daughter and praise about her appearance, her achievements, and about her growing up and that she is now entering a whole new life experience. This is the time for the father of the bride to relinquish responsibility for his daughter and to hand this over to the groom.

4. The father should welcome the groom into family and make reference to the bringing together of two families. The father of the bride might want to explain about the first time of meeting the groom and perhaps make some light jokes about this.

5. The father of the bride is normally responsible for offering some words of wisdom to newlyweds, which should be kept to being light hearted and humorous.

6. Finish by proposing a toast to the bride and the groom and wish them every happiness for the future.

In the UK the father of the bride normally speaks first followed by the groom and then the best man, however, in Scotland and at a Jewish weddings the speeches between the groom and the best man are swapped.

Really and truly it does not matter at the end of the day, except for if you are a traditionalist, then you might want to follow the normal protocol, as follows:

Father of the bride speech

The father of the bride is there to start the wedding speech process which normally takes place at then end of the meal, at the reception of the wedding. However, as part of the role of a good best man the speeches should ideally be introduced by the best man and the best way to attract everybody’s attention is to tap lightly on a glass with a spoon.

It is likely that the original thought behind this tradition is that the father of the bride traditionally paid for the wedding and sometimes still does. It is only fare that he gets the first opportunity to have a say and be first to do so. If however, the other parents or indeed any other family members have contributed to the cost of the wedding it is the father of the bride’s role to thank these people at this point to acknowledge their contribution to the cost of the wedding.

The basis behind his speech is to talk about his daughter and acknowledging that she is going out into the big wide world and that he is handing over care to her new partner. Fathers and daughters are always thought to have very special relationship so to give her up to another man is one of the hardest things for him to do. The father of the bride should also officially welcome the groom into his own family and it might be appropriate at this stage to talk about how he first met the groom, adding any appropriate jokes to keep things light hearted is fine. Of course weddings are all about the bringing together of two families so the father of the bride should welcome the joining of the two families.

For details of what to include in the father of the bride speech click this link

The grooms speech

Traditionally in the UK the best man’s speech comes straighter after the father of the bride’s speech and that of the best man. It is a chance for you to thank everybody, and not least the parents and all the people who have made the wedding day happen. More than likely the bride will have played are large part in the organisation so don’t for get to thank her too.

Also, these days it is by no means uncommon for the bride to speak and in some cases the bride and groom can do a joint speech. If the bride is going to speak there is no tradition as to what she should say, so this is totally up to you as a couple. There is nothing wrong in the both of you doing the thank yous, for example.

An alternative is that if for whatever reason the father of the bride is not present, then the bride might want to speak first in the traditional father of the bride slot. At then end of the day there are no rules, just traditions so it is your wedding so you can decide what happens and in what sequence.

If the bride does not join in with the speech is important to remember that all your words should be as if from both of you. Try starting your speech with “My wife and I” or perhaps “My NEW wife and I” or another alternative is “Mrs X and I” where the X is your wife’s new surname – this is likely to bring some smiles or laughs to set you speech of to a good start.

For details of what to include in the grooms speech click this link

The Best Man Speech

If you are about to be best man at a wedding, I don’t want to put added pressure on you, but you probably realise that of all the speeches at a wedding reception, the best man’s speech is the one that everybody is waiting for.

All speeches at a wedding should be light hearted and good humoured with the odd joke or funny comment to make the guests laugh. However, the best man’s speech has traditionally been the speech to draw the most laughs and is normally there to humiliate the groom. Don’t worry about preparing a professional speech or about being a comedian, as you will find that you will get laughs from even the slightest quip. Remember also that a number of the guests will have been consuming an amount of alcohol and will have just eaten, so they will be relaxed.

Also, by the time you have to make your speech and on the assumption the wedding does not have a master of ceremonies, you will have stood up to introduce the speeches before yours, so you will at this stage be familiar with the audience.

The role of best man has many sides, you are there as the best friend to the groom and although your speech role is to humiliate him you are also there to support the couple on their important day as the head of all the wedding day assistants, like the bridesmaids.

For details of what to include in the best man’s speech click this link

Things to include in your “Best Man’s” speech, as a must and as a bare minimum:

- Firstly you should thank the groom for his speech, and the father of the bride for his.
- It is a good idea to also thank all for attending, even though the groom and father of the bride have already done so.
- Give up a toast for both of the parents of the couple and you need to thank them on behalf of the bride and groom.
- If requested you will need to read out any telegrams, emails or cards that the bride and groom ask you to read out.
- Make a final toast and a quick mention to wish the happy couple all the best for the future.

If you do the above and if you are not used to speaking then this will be fine to finish there. You might not be happy with trying to be funny, as this can fall flat where you try to tell a joke that is either not funny of delivered so that no one laughs. However, if you fancy making your speech a little bit more like the traditional best man speech, then add the following items:

- Explain to room how the bride and groom are as a couple together, how they met and go on to tell any stories you have chosen about them.
- Tell a funny story about your friend and put as much emotion into your story as you can. Emotion in a story will ensure the best laughs and will ensure your audience will enjoy your story and find it funny. When choosing a funny story, test it out on a friend and avoid stories that include ex-girl-friends, as this might make things a little awkward for your friend.
- You might want to add to your speech details of what the groom is like, how you met and what he has achieved.
- Include in your speech about the bride and explain to your audience what she is like and what impact she has made on his life, you might want to make this bit light-hearted and can usually get some laughs here.

Make sure you practice your speech beforehand and a good place to practice is in front of a mirror. It is natural to be nervous and I recommend you have at least one drink beforehand to help relax you, but don’t get drunk before you speak as this will not look good if you are slurring your words.

Keep your speech to within 10 or so minutes and don’t ramble on and on, as you will bore your audience – Good luck to you.

The way that I have dealt with this in the past is to do lots of positive thinking and to go into a separate room and let out my fears by shouting as loud as I dare depending on the location and who is around.

This does work for me, but it would be good to hear how others control their fear of public speaking, which is a fear that more have higher up than death! Which when you think about it is crazy – speaking in front of people will not kill you and yet we fear it so much.

We have all been to that wedding or business event when someone gets up that just loves the sound of their own voice! When this happens the whole room wants to shoot themselves for the boredom.

We want to hear your funny stories of how you managed to endure one of these speeches, where was it and who was it – was it the best man speech or perhaps the father of the bride? You might have even managed to sneek out.

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Your speak could be for a wedding best man speach, father of the bride speech or a birthday speech or perhaps a business speech! It does not matter whereever you heard it or gave it we want to know.